Must own?

If this blog was always about how awesome I am at running, well that wouldn't be much fun would it?? I think deep down we all find something slightly motivational in the failure of others. Because it makes them human. It makes them just like one of us.

Well I haven't been awesome at running in quite a good while. But what IS awesome? Perhaps just getting your ass out there is awesome enough. Well, I haven't been doing that either. So enter non-awesome. Remember when the whole point of this blog, the whole point of running was that I "must run"?? Well at this juncture, I write more about NOT running than running and that's ridiculous. It's redonkulous.

So Al's Run (8K) was Saturday. You may or may not recall that Al's Run was my Big Huge Goal when I started running last year...the shiny golden carrot I was running toward the entire summer. And at the end of the road I had a shiny golden 42:41 PR in my back pocket. This past Saturday morning, before the race, I cued up the ol' blog post and I knew...I just knew that it would be totally unattainable this year. A year where I ran not one, but two Half Marathons. What I didn't know, however, is how unattainable "unattainable" would truly be.

51:56

Let me throw it out there again, folks. 51:56.

Now I will NOT knock any runner out there who's run five miles in 52 minutes. In many circumstances that is a respectable time. Not only that but running five miles in GENERAL is a respectable distance! There was no possible way in all that is true that I could run five miles two years ago. However, in my teeny tiny personal running history, five miles in 52 minutes is atrocious. What's more atrocious is that running five miles in 52 minutes wasn't even easy! I walked three times. I was pretty uncomfortable throughout miles 2.5-5. And yet I ran 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 18 minutes A MONTH AGO. I have a 10K coming up in two weeks and I'm 95% leaning toward shuttin' that shit down. That's out of control.

Now while apparently a month is enough time to completely deteriorate as a runner, I think there's something else going on. Running is nearly 100% mind over matter. And my brain, my attitude, my spirit isn't in the game. I went into this race having already failed.

Where's the girl with the Half Marathon medal and the smiles and the flying and the magic??

About a year and a half ago I found something I loved to do, so I worked hard, and became successful. Now...not. Not loving it, not working hard at it, not being successful at it. So where do I go from there? If you fall out of love with something, do you rekindle or do you walk away? I thought autumn would be like the romantic spark to get me back on board. But that hasn't happened.

Time. My life is completely different from when I started this gig. I'm not single like I was a year and a half ago. Living with a boyfriend is a lot different than living with a sister. A lot more time gets sunk into relationship stuff. And since I took this new job, nearly 14 additional hours of my time per week is devoted to that job, and driving to and from that job. Fourteen hours. So I'm "working" 54 hour weeks. This includes whole lunch hours I no longer receive...hours that I used to run at my old job which is literally an impossibility at the new one.

Ok now I'm just getting whiny.

But seriously, it's just...not...happening for me. And the worst part is that I don't even have kids to blame all this on. The very excuse my friends have given me when defending their inability to exercise on a regular basis...and even THEY find time to get some runs in. It's all badness swirling around. Badness and guilt. Aching guilt. Because I thought this was gonna be my thing. But it's not. Because all the other runners around me don't have this psychotic inner turmoil when it comes to something as simple as running.

Maybe Rachael and Rachel are right...maybe I just have to own it. Just say, fuck it. I'm not an awesome runner who is obsessed with it anymore. I lost my mojo. Don't know if it'll be back. "...I'm sorry I'm not sorry." I'm over it.

And I'd like to flip it and reverse it. Most of the people, runners, I encounter do a pretty damn good job of owning their running abilities, no matter what stage they're at. They don't do a lot of comparing, contrasting, complaining...in other words, the opposite of Katie here. And I'm down with that. I need to be more supportive of everyone's individuality and ownership, rather than focusing inward and trying to barf it all over everyone all the time. I.e. this post. A lot of word vomit in this post and most of it is making excuses and railing on myself. Well I'm done. I'm over it. Maybe running will be fun for me again some day. Maybe not. But feeling guilty about it is dumb. And to anyone whom *I ever inspired in any sort of a way... that will never ever leave the depths of my heart. Honestly. And if there are any scraps at the bottom of the barrel that is my love for running, well you're right there to help me dig them out.

So that's it! Readers keep running or writing or loving or whatever you do best. And when you're over it, no biggie.

Al's Run!!

I DID IT!!!!!!!!

Ok, so in keeping with my race posts, here's a summary:

I went to bed at 9:30pm, ON A FRIDAY NIGHT, so I could get up well rested at 6am this morning. I made coffee immediately. For breakfast I had a peanut butter, banana, milk, protein smoothie and a granola bar. I was pretty nervous. Not really giant flapping birds just yet, but it wasn't your typical Saturday morning (because when am I up before 8am?!?) I iced my knees and watched a Dog Show on Animal Planet. At 8am I walked over to my office to grab my ipod (I had left there accidentally WHOOPS!) GOOD because it gave me a mile and a quarter warm up :) On my way there the giant flapping birds began their dance in my stomach. Guh!

After grabbing my ipod and going to the bathroom for the 9348025th time, I headed to the shuttle area, and I heard "Want a ride??" It was my parents in my mom's bright yellow Cobalt :) I hopped in, we drove *AH* block, parked, and headed to the shuttles. I gave my mom my jacket and yoga pants, she handed me my ipod (almost forgot JEEZ), and my stepdad and I boarded the bus. We spent the next hour chatting about running and life in this Marquette building...I was trying not to think TOO hard about everything! At 10:15, and after ONE more bathroom break, we got in the very back of the 7min mile section which I didn't agree with but David convinced me just to go with it. "3 minutes" "90 seconds" "5...4...3...2....." It's finally here!!!!!!

In a few words: the race was definitely difficult! The whole reason I wanted to run with my stepdad, aside from the comradery (!!), was so he could keep me at a good pace. He's the one who recently finished SECOND in his division at the Cudahy Classic 8K! So I was definitely doing a pretty jaunty pace! The first song on my quick playlist was "All Over the World" by Pet Shop Boys and I immediately got all misty!! I was like: holy hotdogs, I'm REALLY in this thing!! A seemingly lofty goal just a few months ago...is totally happening! From that point on, I kicked some ass. Yep, not gonna lie, there were a couple times I felt kinda rough...but not so bad that it was debilitating...mostly my legs hurt, as a good majority of the first half is uphill. But I never experienced one cramp or side ache :)

Then the magic happened.

So my original goal for this race, around 4-5 months ago, was under 50 minutes. As you know, a couple weeks ago I adjusted that to 44 minutes. You may also remember that I completely freaked out after my bad run and figured 44 minutes was TOO lofty. Well......as I was rounding the 4 mile marker, I looked at my watch. At 4 miles I was at 34:40. What????? Totally unbelievable! So in the final mile stretch, in order to make my 44 minute goal, I could basically slowly jog to the finish line and make it. This rocked!! But of course I didn't slow down...I really pushed through. It was hard. I mean I had basically been running 8:40 min miles which is pretty crazy for slow little me!!

Right before rounding the last corner, I put on The Hives' "Supply and Demand" and went...to...town. With the finish line in my sights, I scraped the bottom of my energy barrel and seriously sprinted to the end. As I crossed the finish, I did this crazy arms rockin out "look at me I'm AWESOME" move and then basically wanted to throw up :) But I didn't!!! David was behind me and I turned around and said, "ok give me a minute"...after that I turned back and said "Seriously David, that was AWESOME!!!" I can't even describe how elated I was!!! I just couldn't believe I did it. I really accomplished my goal, and in "only" seven months of "beginner running."

In the next minute, I ran into a couple dudes from work...one of whom I chat with a ton about running :) We all finished relatively close to one another so that was pretty exciting too! Then my mom and sister ran up to us and that made me even MORE excited!!! We all chatted about the race, I got water, my free snicksnacks (pita chips!!!), and scarfed down a half of a banana. We capped off the event by going to one of my favorite local restaurants Buckleys and I celebrated with a Guinness ;) I used my mom's Blackberry to discover the following SUPER FREAKING AWESOME info:

Katie Nelson
bib number: 2690
age: 29
gender: F
overall place: 1134 out of 3185
division place: 86 out of 367
gender place: 280 out of 1444
***time: 42:41***
~link to my stats

42 freaking minutes and 41 seconds?!?!

Totally NUTS. So basically I was in the top 23% of my age division 25-29 (which, BY THE BY, I'm at the END of!!!) and in the top 19% of my gender. And, roughly, in the top third overall. (hopefully my math isn't totally off...my brain is tired??) For only running for SEVEN months, I think that's pretty damn awesome.

...

Now how about a piece of humble pie, huh Katie??

I could NOT have done this without all the friends and coworkers behind me, well aware of this race and well aware of me racing this race. Talk about motivation!! I also could not have done this without the knowledge that my mom and sister were waiting for me at the finish. Especially considering that just ONE YEAR AGO I was waiting for my SISTER at the end of her first race...JEALOUS of the fact that she could run and I couldn't!!! And finally, I couldn't have done this *WELL* without David at my side keeping my pace. I really don't have any words to describe...such a milestone, and such an experience.

Ok I think I'm done with this novel of a post. My legs kinda hurt and I might need more beer ;)

Next stop??? My Halloween 5K in three weeks!!!

THANK YOU EVERYONE! Running is AWESOME :) :) :)

Day before Jitters

Alright so the day is almost here. You'd think I have a marathon to run tomorrow. It's "just" 5 miles guh!! I just never got over that bad run from last week, AND my knees are totally shot. I don't know what I did, but my left one hurts SITTING DOWN. It's seriously lame. In more ways than one? Anyway! So I mapped out the gist of the route:



And for the heck of it, here are my mile markers:
Mile 1: Milwaukee
Mile 2: A little after Knapp
Mile 3: Roughly the end of Lafayette Hill
Mile 4: Almost to the Mason Bridge
Mile 5: FINISH! Start haulin' once I hit VB though.

"During Al's Run in Milwaukee, I'd like to take a Knapp, but at the End of the Hill and Under the Bridge I must Finish!"

Ok that helped! I broke down the route, so it seems way easier to handle. NOT that it wasn't easier to handle in the first place, but for some reason, I'm a little more excited now :) I can almost see all the people and hear the crowd! Alright, good stuff, I'm golden now! My knees should break in heading into mile 3 per usual and after 3.5 I should be able to really bust outta the box!

Well wish me luck internet friends who may or may not read this blog :)

Al's Run goal

Alright, so I really didn't want to set a goal time for my 8k race next weekend. Mostly because I didn't want to accidentally suck and disappoint myself. Originally I wanted to run it in under 50 minutes. At first that actually looked challenging because I was running my long distance routes averaging like 10:30 minute miles. But for some reason, recently I've just been blowin' it out the box. Last night I ran 6.6 miles averaging 9:04 min miles. That's unbelievable. That means that I could run Al's in 45 minutes. That's crazy talk. And with it being race day and all? With the adrenaline? We're talkin' like 44 minutes possibly. Like if I ran even 8:54 min miles? Done. And that blows my mind.

But like I said, am I setting myself up for disappointment if I really set that goal? The whole point of doing Al's Run was to DO it! To actually run an 8K which I never in a million years thought I could do. But what if I have a bad running day? What if it's unseasonably warm and sunny? What if I have a really bad side cramp and just absolutely have to slow down to regain my composure? It's hard dealing with the unknown. And speaking of the unknown, I've never even run this route before. What if that trips me up? Bah...this is just week-before-the-race jitters, that's all. I guess at the end of the day I'm going to hope for something like 47-48 minutes (9:30min mi avg), but push really really hard for under 45. I mean you need a lofty goal to get that extra push at the end of the race right??

In any case, I have like three runs left before the big day: a fartlek one tomorrow, 3-4 mile quick paced run over the weekend, and a light jog or two early next week as I don't want to do anything drastic before the race. I find that my body really gains ground when I have more than just a couple days between runs. For example, I had about four days in between last night's and Thursday's run and I could seriously feel a ton of progress, like my body is rewarding me for resting :)

One final note: God bless fall. The absolute, without a doubt, ultimate BEST WEATHER to run in. October in Wisconsin is a gift from above for runners :)

another goal accomplished!

In my first running blog post, my "third goal" was to run with my step-dad. Now despite the fact that he's pushing 50 and regularly feels pain in places we didn't know existed, he still hauls ass!! A few weeks ago, he ran the Badgerland Striders Cudahy Classic 8K and placed second in his age division (M 40-49) with a time of 38:33 (7:43)...I think that's pretty freaking good!!

In any case, when I first started running, I figured it would be awhile before I'd run with him. Obviously he can slow it down for me, but I didn't want him practically tripping over his feet in an effort to slow down. Well with my own 8K race coming up, I figured it might be a good idea to try it. Perhaps David would speed me up a little. Meanwhile, he wanted to run the race himself, but to avoid injury, he needed someone a little slower to run with. It's a match made in heaven!

So Sunday afternoon, he met me at the apartment. This was my "long run" day and since I went 6.6 miles last week, I decided to up to to 7 miles. I know...7 miles running with a veteran?? Was I biting off more than I could chew?? Well I mapped out a 7 mile route, and we took off into the slightly mild temperatures, but HOT sun. Aaaaand how did it go??? Well basically it couldn't have gone any better!!! Right away I knew I was going faster than I typically do in the first couple miles. At first it made me nervous because of the length of the route...was I going to totally pass out like four miles in? Nope not at all! I just kept plugging away. I'll tell you that runs go SO MUCH FASTER when you're running WITH someone! Talk about a way to beat the long distance boredom! And it's not like we were talking or anything. We probably exchanged like three sentences total the whole way, not including "turn right here." But I guess maintaining your focus on the person next to you is enough distraction.

The two hotspots in the run were the two big hills I made sure to incorporate: one at mile 5 and one at mile 6.75 or so. So yeah, right at the end of course! I told David I needed to slow down to prepare for the first hill and that worked ok. And actually after the hill was over, I usually slow waaaaay down to recover, but because I was with David, I just pushed on. After the second hill, at the end of the route, I gave 'er hell, per usual, and sprinted the final 2 minutes (roughly four blocks or so). I think David was pretty surprised I had it in me!!

Ok enough of that...what about STATS?!? I love me some stats!! Well, when I recorded our time (1:07:10) into mapmyrun, turns out I did the 7.2 mile route averaging 9:18 min miles!!! That's WORLDS...WORLDS away from 10:10 min miles from last weekend's long run. So yeah, consider this girl very proud of herself!!! Meanwhile David ALSO said that this was one of his favorite runs! He said the pace was excellent and definitely a good way to avoid re-activating his injury. So basically, while he may not earn himself another awesome 8K time in the upcoming race, he'll be helping ME get a better time than I would by myself. Basically if I can run 7 miles at that pace, I can certainly do 5 miles at that pace!! Add in the energy and adrenaline of Race Day, and I could stand to get a really solid time! I'm so stoked now!!!

In other news, last night I did another "fartlek" type interval run. Only 2.2 miles again, but I did it in 18:28 instead of 20:00 like last week! That's a solid 8:30 min mile average!! I do believe that's my best time yet. Granted "only" for 2 miles, but still...I think all the varying in training is seriously helping me. I'm so glad I really buckled down in these past few weeks!

However, with that said, I noticed during my long run, and especially in my interval run yesterday, that my legs are feeling pretty rough. I could feel sharp pains in my right leg from my quad to my knee to my shin to my ankle to my big toe. It went away about 3 minutes in, but still, it's got me a little worried and I don't want to overdo it just two weeks before the 8K. So I'm going to see what happens on Thursday morning...whether I should do the 4 miler or not. On the one hand, more long distance will really prepare me for the 8K, but on the other hand, am I pushing it with these 6-7 mile runs? It's so hard to say.

OK END OF LONG ASS POST! I'm sure YOU could've run 7 miles in the time it took you to read this jeez!

Prelude to My Future Career in Running...

...or something?? All I want to be able to do is actually run for more than a couple minutes without feeling horrible. It isn't like I'm some lump on a log either. I weigh less than 120lbs, I walk 2.5 miles 5 days a week to/from work, and I work out at home for 20 minutes whether it be cardio, weights, yoga, or pilates. Yet I'll go and head out into the concrete jungle and hit the brick wall every time. Perhaps it has something to do with my asthma. Make me laugh and I'll cough for the next three days. But I think it has more to do with biting off more than I can chew and getting discouraged. The key is to start slow to work toward a greater goal.

My first goal is to follow this Stage One 10-Week Schedule I found here


My second goal is to be able to run with my sister. She is Inspiration #1. She ran her first 5K last fall, and ran it incredibly well! The second she crossed the finish line (which I idiotically missed), I was so proud, impressed, and inspired!

My third goal is to be able to run with my step-dad. He is Inspiration #2. He has run in like millions of races haha! AND he ran a marathon not too long ago. Maybe he doesn't think he did that well, but c'mon, it's a MARATHON! I can't even imagine.

My fourth goal is to reach and accomplish the Stage Two 10-Week Schedule:


My MAIN goal is to be able to run in Al's Run, an 8K, this October 10th. I have over twenty weeks before the race, so this should be plenty of time to get to this point, even if it is a lofty goal for a beginner.

I have other inspirations...my mom, for example. Even if she can't go for runs much anymore, she started running once she met my step-dad, and being a not-so-athletic person, turned into quite the athlete! She's 50+ and amazingly healthy all due to this decision.

Another inspiration is the ~$100 pair of Asics I bought last night :) During a time when money is incredibly tight, an expensive pair of shoes isn't something I can just toss into the corner of my bedroom to collect dust! I better earn these pups! FYI, if you live in the greater Milwaukee area and need a new pair, please visit Performance Running Outfitters. A friend/coworker recommended them to me and it turns out the place is owned by my former high school classmate and her husband! She was so helpful! These guys take the extra time to fit your specific foot shape and size. You can even run on a treadmill to get a feel for the shoes! Such a great experience, particularly because I came in a half hour before close and I didn't feel rushed at all!

And thus begins my journey into the unknown. I know I have plenty of brick walls ahead of me, but I just gotta plow on through. I'm going to try and be positive and look forward to those *good running days!

I believe Sunday will commence Stage One, so I'll be back to log in my info (via Breaking the Tape) and officially put this plan into action.