Ahhh, there it is!

Ok, backstory, so I started getting back into the whole "running thing" end of January into February. A couple runs here and there. Got sick, took a weekish off, blah blah blah. Honestly, the only real thing that got me going again was the fact that I signed up for the Rock n' Sole Summerfest Half Marathon here in Milwaukee back in...???...well, what feels like ages ago and it was probably about time I start training for it. Yeek! Remember at the beginning of the year, my main focus became OTHERS for once? Well talk about a shot of happy juice! Focusing outward, rather than inward, was just what the doctor ordered! I was able to get out of my head and back into what inspired me to run in the first place: the journeys, goals, trials, tribulations, and SUCCESSES of others!

In any case, you already know this mumbo jumbo and I apologize for boring you with my waxing. I have a point! Up to this juncture of--well, I guess I'm calling it "re-training"...a word I never want to use again!--I've kind of been, let's say, mailing it in? Not that I'm blah about running, but basically I have miles I want to get in, days/hours I can do them in, AND I go to the gym. I mean running on a treadmill? That's about as auto-pilot as you can get! In addition to this mentality, I've also had really difficult runs. Like as in...all of them. No run has been easy or even mild. I always end my runs (and these are 2-4 miles ONLY) extremely winded, tired, and wanting to have stopped a mile or two previously. It just FEELS different than when I used to run. I mean duh, I'm nearly starting from scratch. But I keep on keepin' on and I increase the mph even though it's hard. Like real hard.

Well, my friends, I made it. Huh? Where? What now? Yesterday I ran four miles and it was difficult, but GREAT. It just felt, I don't know...RIGHT! I felt strong and my breath wasn't challenged and winded, but rather strong and...purposeful! I honestly said to myself: ahhhhh there it is. The feeling I had been waiting for, but too scared to chase after because of all the ego hoopla from before. I have this little person in my head that says, "guhhhhmyGOD it's JUST running, who cares?!?!" That same little person was putting me on auto pilot this whole time. Telling me just to DO it and check the emotion at the gym door. Well the bubble has done been busted because I tasted what it was like to be proud of myself again!

One of my last posts discussed mantras and because of Beth's jewelry giveaway, I started to wonder...can I adjust my new mantra "I have never finished a run and wished I hadn't done it" into one single word? I can.

Afterwards.

The highest high I ever feel (that's um, natural) is after I finish a run, especially an important one! Like a long distance trainer or a race. It is truly an emotion that transcends this world sometimes.

Afterwards. That's what will get stamped onto my trendy necklace tag if I ever snag one ;) I asked if you have a mantra...well here's a dooze: Do you have one SINGLE word that really speaks to you? (Take your time, I had to think about it!)