For as long as I can remember, I told people "I can't run." But in March of 2009, I decided that this was no longer an option. From my first 5K to my second half marathon, I've endured my highest highs and lowest lows as an official Runner. This year I want to embrace running for something beyond times and distances.

Running is so much more than merely getting out there. I want to get out there and love it.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Just another day...

Seeing as it's January 2nd, perhaps I won't feel so cliche about this post today.

Couple things: A few weeks ago I reread the post before this, and was honestly humbled by people who actually cared enough to not only read, but comment on it. So I returned to you a big gooey comment back. Check it out sometime! I've also noticed that there are 22 followers of this blog which boggles my mind. 22 may mean nothing to the likes of awesome mega bloggers like Beth, but to me it's like whoa. Maybe I should give these 22 people something worthwhile to read now and again.

Something worthwhile. Hmmm. What could that possibly be?

Blogs are anything from general updates and life tips to instructional how-to's and what I like to call "blagging" (blog bragging). My favorite type of blogs are obviously streams of consciousness. I feel like I can connect to people who have absolutely no idea what they're doing in life and feel the need to blather on endlessly about it. Definitely my modus operandi, if you will. However, "worthwhile" reading material and streams of consciousness are like oil and vinegar, aren't they? In other words, do I really have anything to add to the world of words? Or am I basically adding to the Too Much Informational Superhighway?

Year One of my running career was humbling and exciting: I soaked up the information others imparted to me in order to learn how to run. Year Two of my running career was very self-centered, and in a way it needed to be so I could reach lofty goals I set for myself. Well Year 3 will bring something entirely different. I've decided that this year I need to run more presently in other people's shoes (or bare feet perhaps!) I need to look through the eyes of those around me rather than focus inward so much. I have to think about how my actions would make other people happy rather than living solely for my own personal gains. 2010 was a super easy year for me. Nothing nightmarish happened and I think it made me lazy. Sometimes Too Much of a Good Thing is not such a good thing and we forgot that "the world isn't designed for our comfort but for our struggle, for in struggle there is growth." Have I grown much this year? Hmmm.....

I fulfilled all of my January 2010 running goals. Did this make me grow? In some ways, sure. I learned to accept physical and mental pain. I learned how to harvest motivation and turn it into discipline. But when all is said and done, why do I feel empty? Why did I feel like a sham? least for me...there's no point to lofty goals and discipline if the only one who really gains anything is me and me alone. I was at the top of the mountain, super excited and proud of myself!! But a few minutes later, I realized there was no one there to keep me company on the long climb down.

This year I'm not going to make any goals except for the following: Absolutely and completely change the way I think about running. Fellow run-blogger Maggie posted a contest to win a necklace that simply states "Love to Run." Mentioning said contest is not my way of picking up another entry. Her contest got me thinking about how I'm the last person in the running world that deserves something like this around my neck. Thus, what I must do this year is earn it, figuratively speaking. I need to look at running in a completely new way. This includes, but is definitely not limited to the following:

1. Inspire rather than brag. Practice sincerity and altruism rather than kindness for the sake of personal gain.

2. Run for others, whether for charity or to simply help out a beginner or someone who is struggling.

3. Embrace exercise as a way to celebrate the physical life that I've been given and connect to others who feel the same way, rather than close myself off and treat running like a Me and Me Alone experience.

4. Above all else, look at the world as someone who needs a best friend. As sappy Saccharin thanks-for-making-me-vom-in-my-mouth as this sounds, I'm very serious! This world needs more people who care about it.

And I'm also very serious about this change and it's pretty frightening because I know how difficult it will be. 31 years young and I can already say I'm pretty set in my ways. I can be a real sarcastic asshole sometimes. (Sarcastic assholes can be pretty hilarious though, am I right?!) At the end of the day though, I have to happy with what I'm putting out there in the world...which brings us FULL CIRCLE to how I started this thing (I knew we'd get there!)

If I find something worthwhile to tell you about...something unbraggy, inspirational, or wise...I'll write about it. This year my blog won't be so much about schedules, personal records, and race recaps. Rather I want to focus outward...I want to celebrate you and celebrate what it means to be an inspiration. I'm going to need some BIG TIME help though, I definitely can't do this alone. So keep an eye out for my extended hand!

Good luck to everyone and their goals this year. I know several who are attempting their first Super Lofty Goal: marathons, barefoot races, Ironmans, oh my!! I promise to be in your corner cheering YOU on for once!


  1. All I can say is, knowing you your whole life, Katesi, this seems like a much more "you" way of looking at an activity. I'm very excited to see/read how it all unfolds in 2011!

  2. Haha! YES I definitely need to be much more Katesi this year ;)

  3. What a great way to look at things. Sometimes there doesn't have to be some huge "big-bang-ah-ha-moment" of realization or learning or whatever. That's how i felt this year and i know what you mean by thinking outward more than in. I've come to really cherish my "time off" (of course speaking in terms of my art) because it is in those quiet stretches of time that i grow as a person and an artist. I have also felt free in choosing to shed the at outer shell of competativeness, jealousy, selfishness of the whole thing. I had to really dig down deep and remember back to when i just did it because i loved it. I try to put myself back in that place everytime i get frustrated or caught up in the unimportant nuances of it all. Good luck to you and your new goals this year!! I really enjoy reading your blog, i hope you keep it going :)
    ps...i totally agree with your stream-of-conscienceness comment, i can totally relate to that. Also, i love that i can relate to you and be inspired although we are talking about 2 totally different things! LOL!

  4. very nice .First time visited your blog.So you decide to take a step out from the personality hole and to give a concerned look to the world around.Nice.
    I will drop in again soon.

  5. Tina your comparison to art is It! Especially the part about shedding all that hullabaloo. How could any of us truly run, paint, work, laugh, etc with all that dragging us down? You and Josh have been incredibly inspiring as of late and I hope you keep it up even though it's been really difficult. You'll get your break!!!

    Thanks H.M. :) I HOPE I stay out of the personality hole. Sometimes I have too much and it swallows me up!!

  6. Thanks Katie! You have always inspired me so back at you.